We did it! We arrived!
Stop the fire.
- Stop the fire! - Fuck!
Jesus Christ!
Where's our clothes?
- Where's the damn clothes? - It's the wrong refuge.
- Shelter wrong? - I drew the wrong map.
¡Jarvis, maldito criminal!
It should be the other.
What else?
That there.
Damn bastard! I WILL reventaste finger!
Fuck!
Hey, Jarvis, wear the mask, bloody idiot!
- Fuck! It's broken! - No no no.
Without the masks on, they can not shoot.
Stop the fire!
Marshall, masks are broken!
Do not be chicken, Kyle.
They can not shoot us.
You could lose an eye.
What do you prefer, losing an eye or the balls?
How did you think this was a good idea?
It will be a funny memory.
They are bullshit.
Alert!
- Do you have ammunition? - A bit.
Give them to me and I cover.
Fuck off! You should have covered my last time!
- I did. - You ran away, dammit!
- No, he was defending the front. - Yes?
You could defend there,
clothes grab-and back defending him!
I will not let me shoot. You're the one who marries!
Let's go together.
Agree.
Let's go together.
- Ready? - Yes.
I'll edit it for the wedding.
I'll put music.
I will add huge balls like mine.
Here's Butch Cassidy!
Butch Cassidy.
What's wrong?
Enjoying the relief of a good leak.
It feels so good, sometimes bids over the odds, right?
It happens frequently.
Not that, man.
It felt a little weird.
Like ... you burn.
Did you use one of these?
I will drink something while you try.
When you are ready.
Take your time.
I tomándotelo easy, right?
Shut up!
Hear this.
Falls! Flowing again!
How do you feel?
As something sharp, like nettles.
Nettle?
Seriously, dude, I know what you mean. You must have lice.
Burns like hell.
Be strong.
It does not burn. Shit, yeah burning!
We've all been there, man.
We've all been there.
"Sexual Health Clinic"
Herpes genital.
It is dangerous.
Very dangerous.
What are you complaining about?
From this.
This waiting room is not like in my day.
They get in trouble putting together all these ...
sexual predators.
I think shag is the last thing they are thinking.
F-638, please.
Yes, I'd forgotten.
Here you're just a number.
- As in jail. - Would you like to wait in the van?
The latter was not bad.
In fact, it was good, pretty good.
I would give.
Is that what you came? To pick up women in a sexual health clinic?
It's a place as any.
- What fucking way? - First, you obviously enjoy love.
It's obvious.
Second, not all are sick like you.
Almost all are clean, with seal of approval.
Pornstars, for example, require regular checkups,
a general medical examination.
- And you ensure a clean copy. - Exactly.
The latter looked clean.
Perhaps a vaginal infection, but no big deal.
A vaginal infection. Do you feel it?
And.
- CF-3330, please. - What does he have?
Beard and a bald head.
You must have genital warts, a recurring event.
And beyond?
Gonorrhea and vaginal infection.
And them?
Be seated, please.
That's easy.
Why?
They go together, right?
Y?
- We also. - Yes, but gays.
They may think the same of us.
Even you're my boyfriend.
But I'm not gay.
Yes, you might think you have AIDS.
I'm not a gay fucking!
I was not talking about him.
I like the homosexuals.
- I'll wait in the van. - Yes.
Do you remember having used this? Then use this!
Chlamydia. Now easy to open packages
HIV What if it were you?
MY BOYFRIEND I catch AIDS I just avoided a pregnancy
It shows signs of infectious nodules. We will prescribe some antibiotics.
You will have their results within a week.
Chlamydia: The silent disease damage to testes and ovaries
Shit!
You will not believe the day I've had.
Hi.
What do you do?
Swim alone...
- You look guilty. - No.
Were you looking at porn?
No.
¡No!
And so? Something you did. I realize.
Yes, he was watching porn, yes.
I was not pajeando.
I do not care if you pajeas. But do not lie to me.
You were drinking.
I said I had a bad day.
Ask happened.
What happened?
First, Mark continues to press me for the contract.
- He's a jerk. - It is not.
Okay, it's not. And in second place?
The DJ has two applications on 18 July.
Well, you move the other to another day.
He really is an idiot.
What did you say to him?
I no longer want anything.
It will be difficult to find another in such a short time.
We have a couple of months.
And it made me think ...
That maybe...
We can compose a rap about our plans.
- Nerd. - Is not it strange that we have not thought before?
I have enough, avoiding lawsuits in my family,
Jarvis does not offend everyone and ...
Vegans do not eat the crap they can not eat.
I will not make music too.
So the music would have a real meaning for us.
Can you do it for me.
It's okay!
Really?
- Yes And you can help.. - No.
You put the music.
My contribution will be in the bedroom. You can enjoy a preview.
Listens...
Lydia, I ...
I'm not in the mood.
But you just porn.
Yeah, but ...
Then show me. Show me what you looked.
No.
Please, I want to see.
- You do not want to see that. - Yes, I want! Please let's go.
I can not.
Do not feel ashamed. We have seen porn.
I really can not.
Why?
You would not like.
Why?
It was porn dwarfs.
¿Porno dwarf?
Yeah, like porn goblins.
Are you serious?
I was curious.
You make me sick.
Well, it was ... More fun than erotic!
- Damn idiot, Jarvis! - Maybe you need another hand!
Is my fucking sandwich?
What will I eat for lunch?
- How many "C" is in "action" - Two?
It does not fit with two. It is wrong.
Who is dyslexic, you or me?
You I have one.
Tres letras, comienza con "V", termina en "H".
Sexually transmitted disease.
- VAH ... VUH ... - Almost you complete the panel?
Only missing a hand, Dave.
I need the van to bring a yogurt to Scotland.
I 'wont be here. When finished, take the rest of the week.
And do what?
Become a straw. Make two.
Moreover, what if jack off each other?
I'm taking a couple of days. Should thank me.
Will they be paid days, Dave?
No, Jarvis thought shared straw sponsor them.
Five per head. What do you think?
Come, help unload.
How many "C" is in "action"?
- I'll help with yogurt. - That?
I said I'll help you with yogurt.
How? ¿Removing lead paint?
I have a friend there.
- Where? ¿North of Scotland? - Yes.
She is saving for her wedding. Right, friend?
- There will be the normal pay. - But cash, right?
Go ahead, then.
Then do not complain.
That only takes a couple of days.
What if I'm not cured then?
Chlamydia can be cured with a few pills.
Yes, but what if the test is positive?
Another thing.
Something serious.
Not so. Do not torment.
In a couple of days we'll laugh about all this.
And the guests, when they hear my best man speech.
Shut up, already comes.
Thanks babe.
You not have plans for this weekend.
And I made a commitment.
But I bought meat and everything. I bought a lot of things.
I'll help you with it if you want, Lydia.
You should have told me earlier.
- You say I'm fault ... - It's not anyone's fault.
Can you come home at night?
I'll be kilometers away.
I'll come to refuel.
- I can also help. - Fuck you, Jarvis.
Not that we do not need the money.
Do you think it will make a difference?
What do you mean by that?
Gano much as you do.
Yes, when you have work.
I'll smoke a cigarette, she bores me.
Perhaps you not remember where we were a year ago.
Edinburgh.
I hope you remember where you proposed marriage.
Where he was, as I shat with fear.
- Stay this weekend. - disappoint many people.
Do decepcionarías?
I did not say it in that tone.
I fear you have contracted chlamydia.
I do not have AIDS?
Both tests were negative for HIV.
- And hepatitis A, B, and C ...? - No. You have chlamydia.
We thought when I came last week ...
I see that you are prescribed an antibiotic treatment.
It means I'm cured, right?
Well, have you followed the instructions?
Two a day, no sex.
Do the symptoms have decreased?
Does your penis feels like it cold?
How stuffy nose, sore throat?
Do not! My penis feels much better, thank you.
- Although we do not yet speak. - Do you have any questions?
Why he did not tell me over the phone?
I follow politics.
That scares patients.
Well, it helps us keep people coming back and ...
We can help the other party.
The carrier.
Well, actually she is not ...
- Accessible. - Through a friend, maybe?
If you could, you would believe me, Doctor.
You see, chlamydia can be difficult to detect in women.
I know, the silent disease. I read on the Internet.
- It's good to show interest. - It's not a hobby.
If he manages to contact the carrier, as you call it,
do us a great service, her and us.
Hey, I'll be honest with you.
I had sex with a prostitute.
It was my first and only time and ...
you know, he was totally drunk.
I mean, I know it's no excuse, but ...
I do not know what I do.
Finished...
orinando cosas extrañas durante la noche como...
El radiador o el armario, una vez. O sobre la computadora.
Cuando despierto por la mañana, no recuerdo nada.
Hasta encontrar algún charco por la casa.
En fin, era mi despedida de soltero.
Acabamos en un burdel y...
Ya sabe, sólo esperaba, porque Jarvis...
Jarvis es mi padrino.
Dijo: allí se puede fumar.
Apenas lo recuerdo.
- I'm surprised that I have stopped. - In your file you say you're single..
His girlfriend...?
Ie, his fiancee, you know about all this?
Do you plan to tell her?
No.
In your Internet search,
Did you read about the different incubation periods?
: Periods? That...?
Incubation periods, the time when a disease is hidden from the tests.
Why you say that?
You had unprotected sex with a sex worker.
He faces a high risk of new infections,
which they can not be detected immediately.
But I am cured.
For a test to be 100% conclusive
for diseases such as
You must spend a certain amount of time.
How long?
About 90 days.
¿19 days?
90 days! Twelve weeks, if you prefer.
I prefer the shorter.
It is the same: 90 days, 12 weeks, 3 months.
Three months.
- We'll get married before that. - I am dead man.
Stay positive.
Negative, stay negative.
Look, I figure this out soon. You and I...
Taking and thinking.
Oh my God!
- You can not have sex with Lydia for 3 months? - Lower your voice!
- What about oral sex? - No!
With hand? ¿Pajearte with her tits?
Just curious, it is all.
And condoms are not a solution ...
After 6 years, it's like a confession.
So you just have the "abstinación".
- Abstinence! - Whatever you call those rare.
We need to find out why they do it.
Or they do not?
That is religion.
By religion, I know.
You ask Lydia,
You want to avoid sex for the wedding night ...
is something special?
Very deep within you, Jarvis, but forget ...
I can not have sex or my wedding night.
Do not know anyone that "closing the deal" on the wedding night.
I got this. You're not in the mood or pull a smile,
a lot less...
And the honeymoon? Also you be there?
Can I have a room?
I'm screwed up! So fucked!
It's stress!
You're stressed!
Do not tell me?
Stress, what makes you?
- Do you leads to suicide? - Yes, yes, I know.
And before that?
I dont know. Threats, self-injury, attempted suicide.
- Impotence! - Christ!
Look, Lydia's sex drive to try to encourage her heal,
But impotence is a problem ...
I do not have.
It would be better to cut it.
No.
Nerd. Cortártelo I not talk about, but ...
What if you beam on the fly, or something?
I would add a couple of days, but not 3 months.
Would you pour a cup of tea.
Or ... I know!
You get a piercing and everything becomes infected, as Wayne's nose.
Do you remember Wayne's nose?
Toast was put out. Imagine your nose.
"Ay, no te me acerques".
I bet you would.
I bet you would accept that dirty treatment.
It's okay.
¡Eureka!
- break your frenulum of the glans. - That?
- Do not. Frenulum of the glans. - I do not know what it is.
Jarvis, sit!
I'll do it under the table.
Look, look, look.
Ah, eso.
Conocí a un viejo que se le quebró en dos.
Se estaba follando a una gorda, apoyado en un zafacón y se cayó.
Tuvo la polla en cabestrillo durante meses.
¿La polla en cabestrillo?
¿Quién es el tipo?
¿Cómo se llama? Se llama...
Creo que empieza con "P" P....
¿Lo conoces?
No, pero la historia es verdadera.
And even if it were not, the idea is very good.
We should consider it.
Chlamydia is like chickenpox.
If the fuck, is usually before 10 years.
With other diseases, large,
do not know anyone.
Not walk around showing off.
It is not a transit ban.
It is AIDS.
What are the odds?
Well, as said Dr. dicks,
I had unprotected sex with a sex worker.
Yes, but once.
A probability of 1.000 to 1, perhaps 100 to 1.
People commit infidelities.
99% would not do what you have done.
You cleaned up, researched, a clean job.
Still, you feel guilty.
That is, it is something terrible.
Something very, very terrible.
What do you think?
Forget this.
It acts as if nothing had happened.
Turn that damn light.
- Are you awake? - I am asleep.
I'm sorry.
- What are you doing? - Hi.
Kiss Me.
No, I have to get up early.
I'll make it quick.
You know that rapid scald me, no.
- Is not it amazing? - No...
Centuries ago.
Go brush your teeth.
Inside the toilet, Kyle! In the toilet, Kyle!
Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
- Insurance. - I can not!
I'm sorry.
¡ Mami!
I'm sorry. Thank you.
Make Alfie go ahead. It tide in the back seat.
- Yeah. - Like his uncle Kyle.
Come on, Alfie, a race to the car.
You will be the co-pilot.
You're good with Alfie.
It is a haven for pedophiles.
You always have to think the worst?
Yes, you have to be alert. Look at that man.
It does not seem to be her father. And you can not have so many children.
Then go and play with Alfie.
I do not want to think I'm a pedophile.
Are you so paranoid?
That shit happens!
Nothing bad words!
He can not speak.
But when I learn, I do not want your first word is "crap".
Perhaps it is better than "pedophile".
We will not be so with our children.
Yes, you know.
Let's take care of them, right?
Sweetie?
Sweetie.
I was thinking ... Maybe ...
In stopping the pill?
A pregnancy can take up to 2 years. Look at Lee and Laura.
If luckily we did immediately, you will not be noticed before the wedding.
You are sweating.
I do not know, it is the Jalfrezi. That got me hot.
It would be awesome announce at the wedding.
- Where is the waiter with my beer? - Kyle?
Yes, it would be awesome, yeah.
You're right.
It could take time.
We'll have fun trying.
I go to the bathroom.
Thank you.
I'm dying for a cup of tea.
Want a?
Come on, shake me, Kyle!
That? That?
Kyle, my pussy burns me. I WILL burns pussy!
You're good?
What did you do to me?
Was not me.
- I think it was the Jalfrezi. - It was your damn hand.
I'm sorry.
It feels good.
It feels very good.
Better than sex, huh?
I leave you alone.
- I'll tell you it was for you. - Yes, I'll admit guilt.
I'm sorry.
I hope not arrive so late on your big day.
I'm sorry.
I love you, I will comfort them,
I will honor and protect and,
I will be faithful while life has.
- Here comes the part of the votes ... - Now step rings.
- Wait. - Sorry, do not want to ruin anything, that's all.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
- I assume are the future Mr. White.? - That's right.
I think.
I have understood that there is a small problem ...
With the DJ. It was already solved?
My future husband will take care of that.
Brilliant brilliant. Y...
- You know how many vegans come? - Vegans?
- There will be four. - Four, very well.
Excuse...
- Duncan. - Hi. - Sorry. I'm the best man.
Can I request a video projector?
- Sure. - You can not show that!
- You know how long it took me edit it? - Jarvis, my grandparents come.
There will be kids there!
I honestly do not see anything. Pubis only blurred.
- We'll talk about that later. - Sorry to interrupt.
We have not decided on the flowers.
No problem. If you visit this weekend,
the room will be decorated with lilies on Saturday,
and orchids on Sunday. Beautiful!
Sounds good. Right, Kyle?
This weekend? I can not.
Why?
We'll go fishing, and Jarvis. Sport fishing.
- Fishing is our hobby. - It will be for men only.
They work together five days a week.
When they are married, it will be all yours.
- As long as you ... - I feel pressure them,
but I have a husband to take care of, could we ...?
- I'll see you this weekend. - Of course.
Thank you.
I appeal to those present,
to witness that I, Lydia ...
- Oh Love! You're good? - Lydia.
No, seriously, I'm fine.
You know?
I'd rather have a hamster ...
nipping the frenulum of the glans,
to spend the weekend sitting by a lake ...
In a fucking fish!
You'd better get used,
because we will be doing many times.
Lydia already suspicious of my new interest in politics late at night.
And I can not go on "helping" every night with the speech,
even if you're dyslexic.
I guess things are good contagiándote.
- That? - Any.
What did you say?
- You said I'm dyslexic. - You are!
- And you're good contagiándote things. - Yes, good...
It would not have happened ...
Of course if my godfather had not taken me to a brothel.
- And you wanted. - I was drunk!
- I also! - You're supposed would guard me!
Do not could you do a worse job!
Look, Kyle, I'm sorry.
Kyle, mate, sorry!
Are you at home.
I am asleep.
Where is Jarvis?
I know you're somewhere, Jarvis!
, Salt, wherever you are Get out!
What's wrong?
How I look?
Angered.
- I'm supposed to look sexy. That told me. - Who?
You are jealous.
Drink some more and come to bed.
You have no right to be jealous, Kyle White.
I am yours and I do not even want.
I love you, Lydia.
Do not tell me. Show me.
Fuck me or do something, please!
I'm sorry.
You better.
- Why do you make me feel like that? - not you.
- I swear. - So what?
- You have doubts? - No!
- Because I do. - That?
I said. I have doubts.
And you know what? I'm glad I said.
It is enough that do not touch me. I do not even speak.
We can talk, baby, still do.
Let's talk!
Tell me you do not have doubts.
I'm sure! But you doubt.
I think it is normal.
Healthy, maybe.
It is a very serious decision. Give up everything. And that of ...
A dick, pussy, forever.
Do you think that someday might be tempted?
- Never. - We are humans.
And we make mistakes.
- Yes, I know, but ... - Look how many divorces and infidelities, anywhere.
I think so, yes.
Do you think you can be unfaithful while still very much in love?
I do not know.
Would I have been unfaithful?
I can not lie to that face.
Of course you can. Just try.
Perhaps you have been unfaithful to me?
- I've never cheated. - You ruined again.
Never repeat the question.
You notice that you're stuck because you're lying.
Again,
Would I have been unfaithful?
No.
No, I've never cheated. Never would. I love you...
It was fatal!
Do not feel compelled to fill the silence.
Envuélvenos only.
Would I have been unfaithful?
Good.
Well, feel safe to return the question.
Ask me again.
Would I have been unfaithful?
No.
I swear...
for the health and well-being ...
of all those who appreciate it,
that I have never cheated.
- It was good, right? - I believed you.
You have to be spontaneous, speak from the heart.
I would put a little imagination, be creative.
Did you understand?
You've fooled me?
I swear, by our unborn children,
that I have never cheated.
I'm going for a glass of water.
It's okay.
Did you ever consider a gas grill, Kyle?
No, the coal are more efficient. Right, son?
If they are very good. Asks one on your wedding list.
- They are expensive, right? - I do not know.
Someone can afford.
¿Kyle? Would you show your van Alfie?
He says he killed a rhino with her.
No, I did not say that.
I said I could.
- You're telling you shit! - Exactly.
We were in the petting zoo. He was frightened by the big animals.
Van falls apart. He would not hurt a cow,
and less a fucking rhino. - What would you have said?
It depends on what you said. Is the rhino was white or black?
What does that matter?
You can not kill one black.
So is. If I remember correctly,
are the species most endangered.
No, is not that. It is racist. Racist.
¡Oye, Alfie!
Have you already decided with flowers?
Yes, Mom and I chose the lilies.
How good.
- I continue with the same beautician. - Yes!
When men go to the last appointment with the tailor?
It's on the calendar.
My costume was not me on my wedding day.
No, honey, you let yourself get fat long before the wedding.
Stress. It was that.
Kyle seems to have lost weight.
It's stress, for sure! They do not know how it is, folks!
If true.
You must stand in front of all those people,
wise things to say about the joy of being married,
and then go to the master suite, where they await the performance of your life.
That will not take me sleep.
I can alone.
I'll go check on the boys.
So a person thinks of a verb,
and others try to guess asking questions.
But the question, should replace the word with the word "tea".
- ¿Tetera? - Con esa palabra sustituyes el verbo en la oración.
¿Mejor jugamos póker?
¡Por Dios, Michael! ¡Será divertido!
Haremos una pequeña demostración, ¿de acuerdo?
Estoy pensando en un verbo. Deben hacerme preguntas.
Y si se equivocan, deben tomarse un trago.
Ya no estamos en la escuela.
Yo empiezo.
¿Tú "tetereas" todos los días?
- Yes, I "tetereo" every day. - Like "teterear"?
Yes, I love "teterear."
Come? conjugating the verb should.
- You "tetereas" alone? - Good question!
Sí, yo "tetereo" solo.
Do you have a question, Mic?
Yes Yes. I have one.
- Where do you keep the "teapot"? - Drink!
Maybe I did not explain well.
The word is a verb.
- Best we leave him out. - Yes Yes.
- Forget swallow. - Nerd. Okay, okay.
I have an other question.
The "teapot" What color is it?
It is a verb, dad, like eating or walking.
- Cagada! - That's a noun.
Not well. "She shits"! "She shits" is a verb.
He does it every day. Solito, enjoy it.
I have a question you, Roger. You read the newspaper...?
While you got a "teapot"?
Ha! Bravo! Well done, Michael! He understood it, see? Well done.
¿Reserve?
Read! The verb is read.
- I'm good at this. Who's next? - I!
When "teterea" people?
"Tetereas" at any time, night or day.
How long is a "tetereo"?
It depends.
It can last a few or several hours.
How does it feel "teterear"?
It depends, it can be good or bad, until satisfactory.
But it can be boring.
Almost always, it is a natural act.
You have to learn to "teterear"?
Yes Yes. I'll give you a clue.
You taught me everything I know about "teterear".
You and Kyle "teterean" together?
Not recently.
In fact, we have not "tetereado" in a long time.
- ¿Te gusta "teterear"? - Me encanta "teterear".
Fascinates me.
Hopefully "tetereáramos" more often.
Do men think more about "teterear" than women?
Definitely.
Do men think about it every 3 seconds?
I think some do.
I think I've got it!
Having it off! That's the word, right?
No, it is not follarse.
Honey, it's getting late. and we should go home.
I return with you.
What did you say, darling?
I have a meeting in the morning. I get up early.
- I'll walk from home. - You had not told me.
Is it okay, Mom and Dad?
- Both are always welcome! - Kyle has to work.
Just I pick a few things.
What meeting is that?
- The left alone again. - Yes, I left.
You leave me alone.
- Lower your voice. - Is that what it is?
Do not make me cry.
¿Kyle? We we're leaving, love!
Go atiéndelos. Send them away, please!
Go and atiéndelos, seriously!
I call you tomorrow.
Lydia.
¡Lydia!
The word was "fishing", right?
Yes.
Hi, this is Lydia. Thanks for calling. Leave your name and number.
I will answer as soon as possible. Thank God.
Where are you, damn miserable?
I'll kill myself.
- Kyle? - I hate myself.
I hate you more if you kill yourself.
Lydia sent me a text saying he needs time.
Listen, buddy.
Sarah, Amy, Leanne. All said the same shit.
But all you left.
Suicide is not the answer,
It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
- AIDS is a permanent problem. - You do not have AIDS!
I feel as if I did. Everyone says I've lost weight, and ...
I have a cold since I went fishing.
Kyle, you can overcome it.
Why? That is to say,
life ends in total disaster, always.
Jail, divorce, suicide, indigence ...
Look at your family.
Do not do personal friend.
- Seriously, I can not stand feeling this way. - Okay, I'm coming.
¡Damn Pajero!
- That? - No, not you, friend.
You're good?
I'm a wanker.
I pajearé forever, now I have AIDS.
¡Marica!
Yes.
I'm a horrible Marica.
Look, I can not talk now, my friend Kyle.
Are you peeing?
¿Jarvis?
¡Jarvis!
Jarvis, are you there?
Tell me why you sent them to stop.
Belt, mobile phone, return "U".
I see no belt.
No, but I am very honest. Why you should believe me when I say ...
I've been an exceptional hurry.
I do not care if it's life or death.
- It is. - Do not be funny.
No, I'm serious. My friend is going to kill himself.
What friend is that?
With the speaker phone.
You can talk to him if you want.
- If You're kidding ... - Jarvis, are you there?
Alo Walker says the official. Who do I speak, please?
- What the fuck? - I think he's taken.
Again, your name, please.
Who fucked you?
Kyle, do not be moron!
Kyle Walker says the official. His friend, Mr ...
Jarvis.
Mr. Jarvis argues in his defense by a litany of traffic violations,
that you.'re about to commit suicide. That's right?
- I said I was thinking. - Fuck me, Kyle!
You just say you're going to kill yourself!
It's okay. Then I'll kill myself!
¡Kyle, cálmate!
As a police officer, my duty is to take that threat ...
seriously.
Threats against a person, including himself,
It is a criminal offense.
Have fun dragging my body to court.
Where is, please?
Do you have a pen, officer?
Yes.
Get that up your ass!
- Your address, please. - 61 Maple Avenue.
- Damn snitch, Jarvis! - Do not hang up.
Kyle...
Are you satisfied, Jarvis? Everything is your own damn fault!
Sorry, Kyle.
Suicide in progress.
Answer me the damn phone!
¡Kyle!
Fuck!
Where the hell are you?
Dammit!
Kyle, no, no! Fuck no!
Damn criminal!
You're the criminal. I almost busted for you!
I should kill you!
- I love you, uncle! - I love you, man.
Do not ever do this again.
Who uses this purple dildo?
Let's finish this ...
Now.
Prostitute three months.
And if you postpone the wedding?
Do you have any idea what it costs a wedding?
It's amazing that we did not think before.
Because it is more painful than break the frenulum of the glans.
Is it more painful to lose life or a couple of fingers?
- Who said anything about fingers? - Let's toast the wedding.
Come to my office.
That will give me tetanus!
Are you worried about tetanus? I thought you had AIDS.
Total, has no edge.
- I do not mind waiting. - Do I have to wait?
You can not do it alone.
It does not work.
Total, you sew your fingers in a jiffy.
- You'll come out in a couple of days. - Do not I'll cut your hands!
Fagot coward!
It can not be something less severe, like an overdose?
That looks like a suicide. more Marica only thing a suicide,
It is a suicide attempt.
If you look closely, it's a declaration of love.
What if I get a tattoo? I do not want to bleed to death.
You do not bleed to death. You'll just pass out.
Or you'll fall into a coma.
Coma sounds good.
A coma.
How do you induce a coma?
Surely you're not alone.
The world is full of desperate wretches.
Dreaming about falling into a coma to escape misery ...
of the life.
Yes, but how is it done?
Looks risky. A thin line between ...
coma death.
Click on that.
Pajéate into a coma. In this I will not help.
Fucking Internet.
I just need something to get me out of circulation ...
for a few weeks.
Something you do not kill,
and that doctors easily fixed.
Exact.
We can burn.
That?
Skin grafts taken an eternity.
You remember Neil?
- In the accident with fireworks? - Oh yeah.
They took pieces of ass ...
and were the hit in the face.
Neil "Dear on equal terms."
- That was unfair. - It was! A fucking ass face!
Quedo traumatized.
You are crazy.
We can burn, do it tonight.
We use fire. A good burned with fire!
Use gas heater.
No matter. You burn ...
With boiling water.
If you do not have fire, I poured boiling water.
All right. You are cooking.
- That? - You are cooking. - Yes, cooking what?
Pasta, potatoes, no matter.
All right. You took a few drinks,
you bend over to pick something up, collide with the handle of the pan ...
and you pour water on his head.
No, anywhere but the head.
- Then on your back. - Yes.
Kyle "Back of ass".
Listen, wait in the other room.
And when you hear ...
I will call...
Do you want to do really?
I must do it.
There must be another way.
There is not.
Lydia only knew how much you loved her.
Better not put this in your speech.
I will not put.
Kyle! Wait wait! Be occurred to me something good!
Watch this! We can not make tests before the wedding,
because 10 weeks is not enough. What if we look at it?
To who?
A sex worker with whom you had unprotected intercourse.
Stop describe it well.
No, if examined and leaves clean,
It means that you are clean.
Do not contagias AIDS from someone who does not.
Look at me.
Look,
back to the brothel,
find the carrier,
and we do an AIDS test.
How do we find the place?
Asking.
To who?
Tourist information will not guide to brothels.
Recorremos nuestros pasos.
Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo.
Tomamos unos tragos en el bar de un hotel.
Ajá.
Luego fuimos a un pub.
Un lugar barato. Unos tragos más.
Ya sé.
Entramos a Internet y buscamos salas de masajes en Newcastle.
Buscamos en Google.
Eso será una gran molestia.
"newcastle burdel".
¡No!
You did it wrong.
Massage parlour.
That's.
Sanctuary ... Bubbles ...
"Break Knights Foxy". I like how it sounds.
- It will take an eternity. - We can not, take a virtual tour ...
by brothels.
Mira: "Visit our oasis of mad passion".
Lower your voice!
Experienced ladies who will fill all your cravings.
Shut up! Look at the photos.
Was she blonde or brunette?
It was not blonde.
What do you remember accurately?
It was quite ... Robusta.
- Fat woman. - No, like ... Voluptuous.
Gorda.
- I think he had a tattoo. - A big tattoo.
Here it is. We have two blondes, too skinny.
We write down the address and explore.
Do you have a pen?
Not here, in the van.
It's okay.
Where is the printer?
You can not print that!
Is someone printing?
You're a jerk all!
Is someone printing?
So say something.
- I have the document someone. - Say something, dammit!
It is printing a document.
- Is someone? - Yes!
Wanker.
They are two pounds and 25 ¢ navigate each page.
They are one, two ...
£ 2.50, here. My change...
They closed at Foxy's about 3 months ago.
- Good. - This is better. - Yes.
Thank you.
- How is the Sanctuary? - Jarvis!
- This is the sanctuary. - Maybe it's cute inside.
- I'll tell you later. - What do you mean?
- I'm not going with you? - It is not necessary.
No ... It's for your safety.
You will not go alone.
NO. 5 for the sanctuary.
Do you have a reservation?
No, no reserve.
- Sue? - Yes?
They have no reservation.
No matter, let them in.
Thank you.
All right, boys? Had they been before?
May be.
Sit.
You want a drink while waiting for?
- No thanks. - I'd kill for a cup of tea.
Somebody turn on the kettle!
The girls will come soon.
- Are you sure it was not her? - No.
- Hello, my name is Magali. - Hello, Magali.
- My name's Victoria. - Victoria.
Hello, my name Aura.
Aura.
You see something you like?
Put out that cigarette!
We operate in a smoke free environment.
I see.
Why decide what?
Do we give a minute? To confer.
In private.
Come on, girls.
- This is not it. - What are you talking about?
You could smoke. I remember.
Well, elimination. We progress a little.
Progress, but what the hell do we do now?
- What are you talking about? - How do we get out of here?
They will not believe that suddenly do not want sex.
We say that the van is parked wrong.
They will not let go at the same time.
I will say that I forgot my wallet.
And me?
- I see. - That?
I understand.
- I understand. - What are you complaining about?
Not well. Do not worry.
No, if necessary, I will sacrifice for both.
Okay, guys. Have you already decided?
All are beautiful and ...
I go with # 1.
Magali Magali, could, misting, ¿cómo es?
And for your friend?
Nerd. He'll just pay.
You can take my tea.
¡Magali!
Hello, Magali.
Where you bought the painting of cats?
Thank you.
A mint?
The things I do for you.
- You do not have to thank me. - It took 80 pounds.
If it were not for me, we'd both be there.
Ah! How noble of you.
You sacrificed, right?
- We just talk. - Yes? Lie!
We speak.
No payment for the passes you talking ...
at each facility we visit.
Are not you glad that there is only one per visit?
That?
Magali told me ...
there is only one open late brothel ...
- boyfriends hungry for sex. - Which?
You want to know?
Do not be a moron.
Apologize.
- Sorry. - Why?
- I dont know. - Why use me?
Do you have any idea how I feel dirty?
You said you only spoke.
So it was.
- Turn off the light. - It's okay.
Here, gentlemen.
Your! Make sure your friend does not vomit.
Do not worry.
- Something to drink? - Beer please.
¿The matter you smoke?
As long as it's not crack.
It's here. This is the place!
Are you sure it was not she?
Fantastic.
Hi. I'm Miranda.
Miranda.
Hi. My name is Roxy.
Roxy.
Hello, dolls. I'm Crystal.
Surely yes.
Goodnight.
My name is Monica.
Can not be.
Not any of them.
You want to sacrifice me again?
- You want to take another look? - No, not any of them.
There must be more.
Maybe he's on vacation.
O is sick. Especially if you have ...
I am sorry friend. You walk alone?
My partner is up losing virginity.
Genial.
Hello, dolls. Have you already decided?
Can we wait for you are with your friend?
To be fair.
It's okay.
Melanie, honey!
You hastens the ass, okay?
- Well, gentlemen, I'm Melanie. - Melanie.
One second.
Can I see your back, please?
I think you've seen.
Really?
You were here a few weeks ago.
- Remember me? - I do not remember them all, but ...
You ... are hard to forget.
We can...
go up?
If required.
60 for half an hour, 100 a. Wear uniforms, making characters,
It is paid separately.
I think it will only take me half an hour.
I go down. When I return, I want you naked and in bed.
The toilets are in the hallway.
- You Colmas patience. - Yes I know...
Maybe we can just ... Talking?
You look nervous. Let me give you a massage.
Can I put me jeans?
Why?
If the pants are dirty ...
Of course not!
Believe me, I've seen everything here.
- No, they're clean, I swear. - Let me see. Let me see!
Okay, now go to bed.
Try to relax.
- I not come to get a massage. - it is to get in tune.
- I did not mean that. - Try to relax!
This amount of knots is not normal.
I'm a little stressed.
Is that why you came back? For a last relief?
I am going to marry.
Congratulations.
Good,
I want to marry,
but I can not.
Why not?
Because I am sick.
You're not sick. Just masculine needs.
I'm sick. I'm dying.
Good,
maybe I'm dying.
Can you do me a AIDS test, please?
When I was here I rub off on chlamydia.
I thought if I came back and you were taking the exam,
I could have sex again with my fiancee,
And I save my wedding!
Breathe.
I abhor, I have not seen it all.
For starters, I do not have chlamydia.
They call it the silent disease and symptoms can be dormant.
Thank you Doctor. I already know that.
I check regularly, because I act in movies.
You leave all that!
You do not remember anything, right?
Honey ... We did not have sex.
- That? - You could not.
You mean ... I did not want?
No, if you wanted.
But you could not, even if I tried.
It was like trying to get a jelly.
I left him alone with DVDs and a ring for the penis. When I returned, you were ...
Let's say,
making improper use of the site.
You remember that peed in the shower?
So we had sex?
That is good, no?
It is clear. If I was not unfaithful, I can not have ...
But yes...
What Diab ...
Who else you slept?
No.
I will add some balls big as mine.
- Come, let us. - Wait, friend.
- Let's go. Now! - Everything is fine?
No, nothing is fine!
She does not...?
Does the test is not done?
Worst.
- Do not tell me you have HIV. - Worse.
- Already she developed the disease? - Worse!
What is worse than the fucking have developed AIDS?
Lydia was unfaithful to me.
I do not understand.
I did not have sex. I was not unfaithful. He did not stop me.
- I thought you said ... - No, it does not matter.
What matters...
I do not rub off on chlamydia here. He was at home.
At least, I understand how you feel.
And you're right to feel hurt, angry,
- betrayed ... - Quiet.
They are in a massage parlor.
- I did not do anything. - But you tried.
But I did not.
If it makes you feel better, we climb and we are at hand.
It's a great idea.
No thanks. He passed.
No, take them with both. A true revenge.
If I am to rise to the occasion ...
I prefer to remain innocent in all this.
This is incredible.
Further,
I will take revenge.
How?
I do not know yet, but I will.
And if you try to forgive?
I can not. I have this image in my mind,
that returns and returns.
A picture of what?
Maybe his girlfriend having sex with another?
- Yeah right. - Who do you think is?
They can be several people.
- Go to bed to bed? - No!
I mean, someone among several people.
- Perhaps the group violated. - Many girls decide to have fun ...
before the big day. - Maybe he has a lover.
- Then you do not love me, right? - Do not be stupid.
Are you saying that men can deceive the woman they love,
but she did not?
So maybe not the master.
Of course you love her.
Would you have gone through all this if you do not love her?
Seriously, girls, things that happened ...
not to infect him a sexually transmitted disease.
Quite a charming prince.
And Lydia?
She infected me, is not it?
You may not know they have it.
The silent disease. Remember, doctor?
You'll have to tell him.
I'd pay to speak.
I will tell.
Do not worry.
I do not think it's a good idea.
If the test is not done, it can ruin your fertility.
Lydia know. You want to have children with you is lying.
- Can you send a text or something? - That?
And give you the chance to make up an excuse?
Their parents need to know why the wedding is canceled.
His parents?
No, not them. Kyle, dude!
Think wisely.
- You want to marry her. - Wanted to.
Until I knew someone buried his cock sick.
That spoiled my plans a little.
- Is not the car of your parents? - Yes.
I want to do this once.
Hey, wait! I will not let you do this!
- Listen to yourself ... - Yes, but this time I have right!
Hey, do not.
For me!
Hey, did I, a certified dyslexic,
write my best man speech at all.
Save it for my upcoming wedding.
Yes, but listen! And video of paintball?
It took me forever to edit.
- Put him on the fucking Internet. - Kyle, no!
What is this about? we were not expecting.
Do not stand there, Kyle. Come in.
Hello Love. How are you?
We waited at the door as Jehovah's Witnesses.
- How did you do go through this? - It is no problem.
It is, if they were about to dine.
Anne made a pan and there is more than enough, is not it, honey?
Freeze he planned for Mom.
Did not get to eat in the nursing home?
Seriously, we do not want to cause problems.
It is not a problem. In addition, we are already family, right?
Let's cheer to that!
And what do we owe the honor?
There's something important I want to tell you.
- Ahead. - Lydia must be present.
- She's here? - Go out there. Lydia!
I'm on the phone.
I will not say anything until she comes down.
Ah, I see.
No, Dad, do not understand.
- Yes, son, of course. - No, Dad. I am telling you no.
Insurance went looking for the champagne to make the announcement.
Lydia! It Cool!
- Let us begin. - This looks delicious.
- Kyle. - I feel nauseous.
- Kyle! - Did you have a bad night?
You do not look well at all.
It is women who get sick with this, are you, Roger?
- Sorry to take me so much. - Here she is.
Do not kiss me.
It does not feel good, poor thing.
- It's okay. - Hi dear.
Can you pass the wine, please Mic?
Are you sure?
Yes.
Then, cheers!
So you feel good, Lydia?
- Yes, I'm OK. - No complaints?
Not at all.
- No symptoms? - Symptom?
Yes, as a rash or inflammation.
Painful urination, things like that.
It is new for me.
I'm not well.
- It's delicious, Anne. - I'll pass the recipe.
Anne is a very good cook.
I'm glad you feel good.
I would not have wanted my illness infect you.
You know what, Kyle? If you do not feel well, you should go to bed,
Have you seen a doctor?
In fact, I did.
You were with ... who have acne. Dr. Clifford.
No, I saw a specialist.
A specialist? What area?
- Genitourinary Medical ... - Not a topic for dinner.
Genito...
Genitourinario, papá. Una doctora de pollas.
¡Kyle! Estamos comiendo.
¡Sí! Y yo les estoy contando sobre mi visita...
a la doctora de pollas. - Kyle.
Fui a la clínica y tuve que enseñar mi polla.
¡Kyle!
La enfermera me examinó buscando verrugas, lesiones, fluidos.
¡Kyle, por favor!
Luego usó un limpia-pipas gigante,
lo embutió en mi polla,
and he sent the dirty swab for analysis.
- What's wrong? - And guess what.
Turned out...
I have a sexually transmitted disease.
And I thought I was pregnant.
I will not talk about that in front of my parents.
They have every right to know ...
Why wedding is canceled. - That?
You can not cancel the wedding!
I can and will do.
And on very solid ground.
But already we pay deposits!
It is not fair to lose money. Kyle did nothing wrong.
- I did nothing wrong. - chlamydia hit me!
- That's impossible! - proven by the tests!
It must be an error.
My tearful cock thinks otherwise!
You must be a sorry infected someone else.
Yes, of course, easy. Blame me, attack me.
There must be a logical explanation. I mean...
No sé si lo sabes, Kyle, pero...
infecciones como esta pueden permanecer...
latentes en el cuerpo.
Muy buen punto, Roger, y...
un par de meses atrás, no,
no lo sabía.
Pero no puede estar latente durante 6 años.
Es el tiempo que he estado en una...
relación monógama.
¿Estas cosas no se contagian al sentarse en inodoros sucios?
Only if you use it as a great pleasure hole, Anne.
- Then I'll explain. - Wait a minute.
He saw Dr. cock a couple of months ago.
Two months.
Why not do not you say anything?
Well I do not...
Two months is enough time to ...
keep quiet and think I have a venereal disease, Kyle.
- I wanted to be sure. - Are you sure?
That you were the ...
carrier.
Carrier. Wait a minute, if you knew you had it,
You must have been very sure myself.
Unless someone else has caught you.
No.
Is that true?
You were not sure it was me, right?
Not 100%.
The deposit went to hell.
Let's see. Did you ask who you infected?
Who?
- Stop repeating every question! - Which side are you, Mom?
That depends on how you respond. The jod ... Answer me!
Condemned question.
Okay, I'll answer.
We celebrated my bachelor party.
We went to a massage parlor, but I did nothing!
And you expect me to believe that?
It is true.
- Not true, son. - It's the damn truth, Dad!
Control your language.
I just want to say,
for me, paying for sex with prostitutes is rape.
Let the bloody drama, woman!
I'm just saying ...
It's not rape if ...
Well, if it is consensual sex between two adults,
They already know. It's what I'm trying to say.
I'm not a rapist, Anne.
Because I could not.
They should know that he was so drunk, I could not even ...
- Satisfied? - dumbfounded, love.
That is, do you believe me?
I believe you, son. That is to say,
Stephen Hawking has more activity down there,
I when I'm drunk. Right, Roger?
I had not usually so drunk.
I would not say that, honey.
It does not take much to round you fall into bed.
Easier vomited on the bed, making love.
I think I understand, honey.
But nevertheless,
I do not understand what matter you can not stop with a prostitute.
No, I think it does not matter.
But at least proves that contagiaste me.
Are you going to tell us how?
Or is this the case of the immaculate infection?
Well, there may be something.
- Seriously? Ahead! - Not in front of my parents.
Our parents think I'm impotent rapist.
It is fair to hear your version.
- I've heard enough. - And me.
- I have not finished eating. - I stay. - Yes.
Judge for yourself, Dad.
Some time ago,
a girl from work gave a party at his house.
A lingerie party. Memory...
what I bought...
a bustier ... - Yes, yes, I remember.
Not only they are selling lingerie.
Also bedroom accessories.
- Electric blankets and stuff. - No, comforters, anal beads.
Well, I've heard enough.
Michael, you come with me to the studio for a whiskey?
I finish this and I'll be there.
Dad!
It's okay.
The girls had drunk a little,
including me and ...
We started ... You know,
to prove things.
Really?
Yes, things passed from hand to hand, the exchanged.
It seems that one of the girls had something.
The big purple dildo?
Yes, there wine.
You're telling me that ...
Would I cheated with a dildo?
If you call that fool, yes.
Oh my God!
You swear it's true?
I swear by the health and welfare of all those who appreciate ...
that's the truth.
What did you say?
I said I swear by the health and welfare of all those who appreciate it,
that's the truth.
That?
¿Kyle?
Kyle, where are you going? Kyle!